Reading - Cliff Gibson
To Rachel
Rachel, I was too late to be your first love but it was everything to be your last. There were 5921 memorable days between our first kiss on the 28th April 2006 in Dicks Tea Bar, Val D'isere, and our last at 1am of the 14th July, a moment that will live in my heart forever. I love you for all that you are, all that you have been and all that you will continue to be as your qualities shine through in Sam - most of the time! You will be our inspiration, our strength and our guiding light as we embark on a journey that will make you proud. We will carry the memories of you with us, with each step we take and every moment we create.
To Service
Mum, Daughter, Wife, Friend or Colleague, no matter who Rachel was to you, we are all here today to get the shit kicked out of us by love. Go and watch Love Actually if you don’t get that quote!
There is no grief like the grief that does not speak. This is why today, we are here, to celebrate and share the amazing memories we have of Rachel. If I had to describe her it would be beautiful and quirky, smart yet ditsy, caring & driven. She had a love for prosecco, handbags, shoes, cocktails, a good cup of tea and flamingos! Above all else I think we would all agree she had a smile that would light up a room, always acted with dignity, respected everyone and was an inspiration each and every day.
We bumped into each other, literally, in the beginners group of ski school in Val D’isere, Rachel fell at my feet. I soon found out this was more to do with a lack of ski skills and several early morning Vin Chaud, more than love at first sight. What we both considered to be a holiday romance was far from the truth, 5 months later we were living together and 18 months after this we were married, in the very room we are in today, walking up the aisle hand in hand to the Ski Sunday theme tune.
At the time we met I lived in Wales and Rachel in London, which made for a lot of journeys along the M4. I remember getting a phone call late one night to pick her up from Gatwick, when I was still living in Wales. Rachel had booked a flight from Heathrow and managed to book the return into Gatwick, with her car, of course, at Heathrow. Smart yet ditsy!
The first weekend Rachel came down to Wales after we met, we planned a walk to one of the waterfalls, Ystradfellte, it was going to be muddy and she should come prepared, of which she duly acknowledged. She turned up in pristine white Converse that had clearly never seen anything more treacherous than the pavements of London! Suddenly the stories of her hockey career made more sense.
Rachel’s favourite programmes were Friends, Love Actually & Dirty Dancing, all fairly normal you would think, although far from normal she once watched Dirty Dancing 14 times in one weekend with Dawn! Slightly more obscure, she could also recite every word from Karate Kid, not just wax on wax off like most of us can do!
After watching Dirty Dancing once with Rachel, we agreed to try dance lessons, how hard could it be! This happened once, and only once, when it was quickly agreed my two left feet were not going to cut it on the dance floor. Rachel went home with sore toes and shins from being kicked and stood on one too many times! From that moment forward, Sanj very much continued to be Rachel's dance partner on the many wonderful nights out!
Having recently put the message about Rachel on Facebook and LinkedIn, it is clear to see how many people loved Rachel and how many people's lives she impacted. Not so much from the Facebook messages, which are all amazing but more expected as this is her friends, but to see the messages on LinkedIn from people that have not seen Rachel for decades or she has only known for a short time, yet can describe and capture her memory perfectly. She had that memorable impact on so many people whether she had known them for decades or just a few hours and even got that across in the new world of zoom meetings.
One of the messages that stood out for me was from Rod Juror, he wrote:
“One of the very best people I have ever worked with. Rachel was the full package: a brilliant inquisitive mind, an absolute expert in her area, an extremely good relationship builder, an ability to get stuff done without any fuss and a fantastic sense of humour that made her a real joy to work with.
I recall how she would deliver things by herself that otherwise would take a full team. And she’d do it both quicker and better and then joke with me about how easy it was! She was a real beacon of light and a wonderful mentor to her junior colleagues, her peers, her friends and her seniors. Don't cry because her life is over. Smile because it happened.”
The sentiment of this message was echoed so many times in how she took everything in her stride, always delivered results, and inspired and mentored so many people through their careers. Even in her last will & testament, Rachel wished that her body supported medical research, and that wish has been fulfilled with permission given for several junior pathologists and scientists to attend the post mortem, and their development being supported as per Rachel’s wishes, with further samples also allowed to support future research, to the very end she was always thinking of others and how to benefit the medical and scientific community that she loved and impacted in so many ways.
I asked Dr Paul Schofield, somebody Rachel respected so much, to send me some of Rachel’s professional achievements to demonstrate the impact she made in her career. His response was “how many would you like, a top 5 from many?” This is one that I will read out to you today:
"Rachel, in her professional career as a cancer scientist, always focused on patients and their needs. She went above and beyond in securing treatments for patients when it looked to be impossible. A clear example was when a blood cancer treatment was no longer easily available for patients and she championed every procedure and process to make this possible for a patient who desperately needed this medicine when all other treatments were no longer effective. She closely liaised with the specialist cancer doctor caring for this patient and left no stone unturned to get the medicine to the patient as a matter of urgency. She was a true patient champion and developed close relations with patient associations as well as their HCP carers."
All of this amazing intelligence, and incredible list of achievements however was also balanced out by having no idea between left and right, the cause of many arguments over the years, and coming out with some great quotes. One of my favourites being, whilst watching the 3rd quarter of a basketball match, “how many quarters are there”? Quickly followed by silence and the realisation of what she had just asked!
Her passion for her job was only overshadowed by her love of her family.
Rachel supported our family amazingly whilst I took the huge gamble of quitting the 9- 5 career and setting up a new business, working crazy hours and all of us making big sacrifices along the way. None of this would have been possible without her support and commitment to a long-term goal of creating a secure future for Sam.
Rachel’s biggest achievement by far however, was how she supported Sam. Adjusting to the fact that he would not follow the traditional approach of school, university, and career that she cherished so much was not easy for Rachel to accept. Much like Rachel returning as Dr Forsdike at the school reunion, Rachel will be incredibly proud to know that, due to the support and foundations she has put in place, Sam will take everything in his stride, will live a fulfilling life and will make a difference in this world to those that matter.
In Rachel’s typical style of all or nothing, she left us knowing more about autism than many experts. She worked tirelessly to understand, and slightly manipulate, the education system to get Sam into the best possible position, giving him the platform he needed to develop and thrive in this world, and I will take this on as my promise to ensure this carries on into his future as we embark on a journey into an unknown world together.
Close
As a final thought for today.
Some things in life are easy to measure, a year you can measure in the number of days, sunsets, midnights or cups of early morning coffees. But how do you measure love? For me this is by the number of memories. Rachel made enough memories with us all to last a lifetime. Some blurry, some scary, some sad but mostly fantastic and full of happiness, and it is these memories that we will all leave here with today and take with us everyday.